Skeletons In The Closet

She met him when we were very young. He was like a father we never had since ours had become nonexist at the time. For years he did stuff a father should do with their daughters. Taught us to fish. To ride bikes. To swim. To fly a kite. He was never mean or abusive then. As we got older he changed. He didn't like us even talking to boys we went to school with. At the grocery store if a boy would stare he would become angry. At 10 yrs old He made us start wearing clothes from the women's section because the little girls and junior section was "too grown" for us. He'd buy shoes sizes too big and make us look like boys. I started my period when I was 11. That's when I wanted to die....he'd wait until my mother left for work. Tell me to take a shower and to come to the room when I got out. I didn't feel comfortable and it didn't sound right. So I didn't. He pushed me in there anyways. And that's when it started. I was only 11. I cried and said I would tell. He threatened me. he had just touched me how a woman should be touched and told me there was nothing wrong with that. This happened a lot to me and my 2 sisters. He started exposing himself to me. Telling me nasty things little girls should never hear. I wanted to die. I cried myself to sleep a lot. At school I became mute. To everyone even my friends. I didn't know what to do. At 13 he waited til my mother left again. Told me to take a shower and come to his room. I said no. I will wait for my mom to come home. He got angry and told me again. I said no. He pulled me down the stairs and beat me. With his hands and a belt. Said if I didn't wanna listen then he'd throw me out the house and he did. I sat outside bruised up and cried for a little while then he grabbed me and threw me back in the house. He choked me against the wall and called me names. And said if I don't wanna be touched he wouldn't touc h me again. He didn't but the damage was already done. To this day I get sick to my stomach when a man I'm seeing tries to be sexual with me. I tell myself that he's not him he's not hurting me. I cry silently inside when he tries to finger me. Very few times can I accept and enjoy this. Crazy to say but only by me loving a man can I really enjoy him sexually. Stuff still bothers me but at 11 years old, a girl should never be exposed to that. At 11 years old I wanted to die

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