Unwritten

I've recently left an abusive relationship. Abuse can be in many forms. And at one point in my life I experienced all of them. I was young woman when we met. Barely 22. He was just a few years older. I thought he was a player at first. Someone who talked good game. And he did. He was known around for having nice things, nice clothes cars and someone women wanted. After him and I talking one on one, I wanted him too. We were together 3 years. The start of it was like a honeymoon. He took me to do and see things I've never done or seen. He was sweet at first. Then he'd drink liquor. And the emotional and verbal abuse started. This was very early on. But I'm young and in love with someone who talked a very good game to me. Said these girls didn't matter and he's a changed man. And he loved me. So I stayed. He'd often put me down about friends or people I hung with. He'd accuse me of cheating. When I never to this d ay have. A year later our son was born. He said I tried trapping him by having his baby I was suppose to make sure was never conceived. I cried. He yelled and the emotional and verbal abuse worsened. But I stayed. I was hurt, lost and in love. We didn't live with each other anymore for a few months. We argued on and off and things eventually got better so we moved into a house together. Within the first month, the physical abuse started. He pushed me down and chipped my tooth. He later apologized saying he felt bad and would never hurt me again. A month later he choked me and pushed me into a couch. That bruised my side. I made excuses for never going out. I didn't have friends anymore. He still continued to accuse me of cheating. I never did. I stayed. The end of 2016 was bitter sweet. At that point I had a wake up call. I stopped giving him what he wanted. I stopped catering to him. What I stopped doing was simple things he could do himself. I always had a attitude towards him. I was never happy. I never smiled. The beginning of 2017 things worsened. I stopped letting him control me. I started to find myself again. I started doing what I wanted to do without checking with him. He got mad and said we should end things. I agreed. For a week nothing was said. We didn't speak or eat together anymore. The end of that week I didn't come home. I cried to my friends about how I could love someone so much and give so much of me only for things to end? They told me I deserved better, he was never good to me, and I'd be happier. I drunk my pain away and blacked out. I went home the next morning. He got upset. Accused me of cheating. The verbal and emotional abuse began again. It got worse. I called my friends for help. They came. He got very upset. He pushed me twice. In front of his own mother and my friends. I packed all of my things and I left. I haven't been back. And I will never go back. If he doesn't know this now, HE HAS LOST ME FORVER. Never again will a man degrade me like he has. Never again will a man put his hands on me like he has. Never again will a man make me feel worthless, pathetic or unworthy again. Never again will a man make me beg for us to work things out. For love. For attention. Never again will I go back to this man. For the sack of my SON who himself will one day be a man, I want better for us both.

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